Communication Part 2

  So, the Lord has been very forthcoming in communicating with us and expects no less in our communication with one another. I know the word “transparency” is overused these days, but it would bode well if we would apply it to our discussions. Integrity should define our speech and openness is beneficial for warning, encouraging, or instructing a brother or sister in Christ. Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken Is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Pick your time and words wisely, but do not fail to express what others need to hear in the right way.
 
  Thus, what are some appropriate ways to give clear and helpful expression to our thoughts? “Grace” softens our words and smooths out the obstacles (Colossians 4:6). Humbly listening and then speaking while “putting yourself in the other’s persons shoes” will go a long way to advancing God’s agenda. God also says in the prior verse that our speech should be “with salt”. This is not the idea of pouring salt in some wound. We should not bring up old hurts. Rather, this is using tasteful words. Words that defuse any possible conflict and welcome proper responses. For instance, readily expressing sympathy with an “I’m sorry”, giving a genuine “I understand what you are saying”, or kindly asking for something to be repeated or clarified. We all must be careful not to make assumptions while seeking to communicate, for oftentimes they are wrong. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Stinging or biting words will be destructive and hurtful. It is sometimes hard not to accuse someone in our communication or use words that will put someone down. May God help us to carefully select our words or quickly correct course when we see things going “off the rails”.
 
  Lastly, to whom should we speak if there seems to be a grievance with another person. The first person that should hear from us is the very person with whom we have an issue. Most matters can be resolved at this level and in this way. If indeed everything is reconciled, then the next key to maintaining healthy communication is never to bring it up with that person again, and especially not to bring it up to another person. Matthew 18:15 is clear “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”
 
Proverbs 10:20a & 31a “The tongue of the just is as choice silver . . . 31 The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom . . .”